the human picture

In the novels that we read, the love stories, and the romances, and the Hollywood films about love and relationships, the greatest interest is usually in the process by which two people bridge the gap between two different worlds, and commit themselves to a relationship of love. There's always the hope, and sometimes it is even a spoken promise of 'happily ever after'. Often, in the middle of the courtship, there is some terrible difficulty. The parents are against the relationship. One of them finds out something about the other that makes the possibility of a life together very unlikely. As they grapple with the difficulty, they find themselves all the more tied to the other; wanting the love to succeed.

Rivka and Giddi

Those of us who have married, and have lived with a husband or wife for a number of years, know that the real difficulties only begin after that 'happily ever after'. How hard it is to share our life with another; to make the compromises needed for day to day coexistence. Each has his own vision of the relationship, and his or her expectations. And often, there are disappointments. If falling in love is blind, how difficult is the process of learning to see again. One question I've often wondered about, is just how close we should be to those we love. Should we spend as much time as possible with our mates? Sleep with them in the same bed? Or should we keep a little distance between ourselves, for the sake of mutual respect. I chanced across a blog post the other day, about sleeping together. The blogger had reached some conclusions very different from my own. But reading her thoughts on the subject, I thought about the fact that there is no 'right' way to do it. Everyone has to figure out what works for him.

Rivka

My daughter Rivka runs a kindergarten that operates according to the Montessori method. She and her partner, Kika, also offer course in 'family physics'. I'm not sure what that is, more than a system by which people can learn to live together in peace. She and I have had many differences along the way, and I have learned to appreciate her dedication and ability in preserving relationships, and making them work better.

kindergarten

Many of the people I have known, have problems, resentments, and bad memories connected with their parents. And many of the parents have difficulties with their grown up children, often because of expectations that aren't realized. Is it possible to overcome these problems, and have gratifying relationships with people that we have resented, and been angry with?

We usually get together once a week. We talk about the things that really matter to us. And speaking for myself, I've learned a lot from her. We're meeting today, and I'm looking forward to the meeting.

There are all kinds of fences in Jerusalem. And when looking at them, I am often reminded of the American saying I heard many years ago; a fence makes good neighbors. We have the security fence which has done quite a bit to stop terrorist attacks in our frail neighborhoods. They are often insulted and cursed, but there is no getting around the fact that we had some very violent characters attacking our citizenry.

And then there are fences meant to keep people from walking on the grass, and fences meant to mark property lines, and fences meant to keep children and adults from crossing streets where there are no crosswalks. And there are fences meant to protect passers by from construction sites.

I'm not sure what this fence was made to do. Probably to hide an unsightly industrial property. But maybe it was a construction sight. There are two industrial neighborhoods in Jerusalem, Talpioth and Givaat Shaul. Both of them contain factories and workshops. And since there are workers there, they also have restaurants and simple eateries, and shopping centers and stores. And because no one sleeps there in the middle of the night, there are some night clubs there too, so people can enjoy themselves as noisily as they care to, all the hours of the night.

I was there to visit some of my clients, when I noticed the fence. It was something of a sheet metal fence, that had been put up with posts in the ground, and had been painted in three colors. A few businessmen had put together some money to buy paints, and some students from the Bezalel Art Institute in our fair city had volunteered to decorate the fence. They painted some stick figures. It was on the very edge of graffiti. Minimalist in it's approach, somewhat humorous, and no question about it, it's art. You can see the set here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/shimonz/sets/72157622487099837/

Well, the workman were here. They had modern tools that made a lot of noise as they cut through pipes, and broke the floor tiles, leaving neat dirt trails in the hallway and the toilet, where they will be able to check if the leak continues in a week's time. Nechama, the cat, didn't like anything about the repair, and left the house till it was over. Which was an opportunity for an unknown and anonymous gecko to extend his nose, and check out what was happening around here.

Interesting, the way the workman, the cat, and my friends were able to walk across that dirt line as if it didn't exist… and then I noticed, they were walking on air.

During the last week, I had occasion to leave the house through the back door, which takes me by the storage room, and the bomb shelter on my way out. I try to take a walk each day, for reasons of health, and because it is a time when I can think things out. It has a very calming influence on me. My dear cat, Nechama, often accompanies me on these walks.
http://tzelem-enosh.blog.co.uk/2005/09/27/meeting_nechama~205006/

Nechama last year:

On my way out, I noticed a little puddle in the hall of the condominium. It is often like that. How well is the first hint of disaster described by Camus in 'The Plague'. You have the feeling that all is not right, but you're not sure. Sometimes you avoid the thought of "what it could be", and sometimes you just hope it's something else. Perhaps the cleaning people left that puddle in their hurry to finish up work?

By the end of the week, the puddle having been cleaned and then having reappeared, it was obvious that I had a problem. A plumber was called. He checked here and there, and finally said that it might be a big job. It could be that this leak was related to the central heating, in which case it would be the responsibility of the entire building. But he thought it very possible that this was my problem. That is, a break down of some pipes in my apartment. In either case, it could mean breaking down walls and opening floors in order to find the cause of this leak.

Of course, even when it comes to disasters, there are better and worse; bigger and smaller. This was a minor disaster. Aside from the money it would cost to repair the damage, it would mean severe discomfort as walls and floors were excavated for the repair. There would be some time without peace and quiet.

backyard cats

And this new disaster reminds me of something I learned as I got older. When I was young, I thought 'normal' was easy going, coasting with inertia, good health, and a few coins in my pocket. I enjoyed a good adventure… and sometimes something would go wrong. I would get sick, or the car would break down, or friends would get sick or get thrown in jail… or I'd lose my way, or lose my address book. And when things got really complicated, I would start longing for normality. But somewhere, later down the line, I realized that life itself was full of ups and downs, and the point was to go with the motion. Like on a boat or a ship; you fight the motion and you get motion sickness. You have to learn to go with it.

Well, wish me luck. I think I've got another adventure ahead of me.

One of the most serious problems of the artist, is that there are more artists producing more art than the public is asking for. Part of the problem is because the artist is usually at the front of cultural movement. And so, not everyone is able to understand what he is doing.

But there is also the problem that among the artists there are those who have more to say, and those who want to be artists more than they want to say something. It reminds me of an old joke I heard many years ago. It comes as a question: How do you relate to a medical student who always had difficulty preparing his lessons, whose friends helped him during tests, who had to be given a second chance with a number of tests, and only had his thesis accepted after rewriting it, and begging his professor for 'consideration' so that he can graduate? The answer is: You call him doctor. The same thing is true for artists, and plumbers and auto mechanics. Some people are A students, and some just barely get through. But in the end, they're part of the profession.

I've always felt that the most important thing for me as an artist, is that I find satisfaction in my work. It can be very exciting, producing a piece of art. Compared to my own excitement and gratification from the work, the audience is secondary. I believe that art is a work of communication, whether it be a painting, poetry, photography or sculpture. But it is not always easy to find a sensitive audience. In many cases, the art finds its own audience. I have spent some hours on the Deviant Art platform. And have seen fine works of art, which received many comments like cool, far out, awesome, and so on. You could see that there were people there, who had seen the work and wanted to show their appreciation to the artist, but just couldn't think of what to say. And didn't have anything original to say. Do these words say anything? Should the artist be running around looking for an audience? And what sort of an audience is he looking for? Is it enough just to have someone, anyone, look at his work?

aching for life